Not is all fair for Au Pairs!


nitz_11In the last decade alone, Philippine au pairs have gone to Denmark in droves. Out of 2,000 in 2007, 62 % or a total of 1,249 were Filipinos.

Dulce, a 25-year old Filipina, was just beginning to enjoy the sweet life in Copenhagen, not exactly the most cosmopolitan city in northern Europe, but a cozy urban place nonetheless, popular with tourists. She was, for months, an au pair for a young family in the northern suburb of Espergaerde. When she was off work, Dulce would meet up with her friends, usually from her home province of Bohol, for karaoke nights or for church on Sundays. Her family back home in Tagbilaran was quite pleased that she could send money home out of her meager allowance.
Au pairs are a hybrid in Europe. Neither workers nor students, they get remunerated because they usually help two-career European families take care of small children and with the house chores. The term “au pair” means “at the same level” as family members. They are required to work for up to 30 hours a week (a maximum of five hours a day); the rest of the time, they are expected to study Danish culture and language.

In addition to free board and lodging (their own room is a basic requirement) plus perhaps the use of a laptop and extra amenities like phone cards and travel passes, they get 2,500 kroners ($500) a month, from which they pay 8 % labor market tax. Considering that a simple T-shirt costs $15 and lip gloss more than $20 (in the Danish welfare state, cosmetics are considered luxury goods; cars have a value-added tax of 200%), au pairs’ earnings are not something to write home about. Many are tempted to do “black” work, like cleaning and babysitting, which is illegal and can be cause for deportation.

One Sunday evening last November, Dulce was being dropped off at her Danish host family home by her friends after coming from evening mass. As she got out of the car and was crossing the country road in the pitch darkness of winter, she was ran over by a private car right before her helpless friends’ eyes. She died on the way to the hospital, and her friends and the car driver all had to receive shock therapy.

Dulce’s death was doubly painful for her family back home because no one was willing to pay for the transport of her casket to Tagbilaran for a proper burial. Cremation was not an option for her parents. The Danish host family wasn’t able to take on this responsibility [of sending her remains home], nor was there a provision in her contract about funeral arrangements. The host family was only responsible for her medical needs and care under their roof.

To help out, the Filipino community in Denmark began a collection. However, despite hectic attempts to raise the $8,000 needed to bring Dulce’s remains home, the collection still came up short. Weeks passed. Apparently nobody in Denmark could be held responsible for mortuary details, even if the Danish government and state that had given Dulce her permit to stay in the country.

It was only after the newly appointed Philippine Ambassador to Denmark, Norway and Iceland, Victoria Bataclan, got involved in the case and conducted dialogues with the different instances in the Danish system, did a solution come about. The insurance company of the driver was finally pinpointed as the party to bring her remains to Tagbilaran. The other aspects of the Dulce case are yet to be resolved.
Banning Au Pairs

The story of Dulce is an example of the No Man’s Land that Filipino au pairs risk landing into if they encounter problems during their stay in Denmark. When Filipinos go abroad to become au pairs, they are actually entering unchartered territory without their realizing it. They are welcomed in Denmark and other European countries where young families with small children and hectic careers make use of their labor. But the Philippine government doesn’t want them to leave the country as au pairs.

To the many documented instances of abuse and exploitation of Filipino au pairs abroad, the Philippine government’s response was to impose a ban on travelling as an au pair. This ban can be seen in two ways: as a means by the Philippine state to protect its citizens, and as a kneejerk reaction to the criticism of the way the Philippine government protects its citizens’ rights as workers in other countries. Evil tongues would say, au pairs earn and remit too little money anyway so they might as well stay home.

This ban, however, isn’t honored or respected by official instances in Europe. The Danish state, for example, continues to release visas or permits-to-stay to Filipino au pairs, even as it refuses to go into bilateral agreements with the Philippine government. Some recruitment agencies circumvent the ban by arranging for Filipino au pairs to get their Danish visas in other countries, such as Singapore.

The ones who suffer the most [from this ban] are the thousands of young Filipinos who travel to Europe and, when some problem arises, realize that they are on their own. This [lack of government support] is apparent even as they depart from Manila. At the airport, it is said that first-time travelers have to pay an “escort fee” (at least P20,000) to some officials, who use the travel ban as an excuse to extort and exploit the hapless au pairs who might have already paid hundreds of thousands of pesos to their equally rapacious recruiters.

Linda (not her real name), an ex-au pair who is now happily married and is the mother of an infant, confided to me that she was so relieved to have finally paid off the P250,000 debt she incurred from a cousin of hers who “found” her an au pair family in Denmark. Had Linda just depended on her monthly allowance of 2,500 Danish kroner, it would have taken her ten months to pay this illegal and exorbitant fee. But because she dared to work illegally beyond her official hours, she was able to pay off her “debt” in six months. Linda no longer speaks to her cousin but she’ll never report her to the authorities.

The cases of Dulce and Linda underscore the effects of the lack of bilateral agreements between the Philippines and their host country, where the au pairs — mostly young women, but increasingly, young men, too — are actually without rights as workers.

In the last few months, I also became aware of the case of Maria (not her real name) whose permit was revoked when she became terminally ill with leukemia. It was actually the Aliens Directorate, now ironically calling itself Aliens Service, which insisted that she leave her employ as soon as possible, when her health situation was found to be grave. Maria, who has gone back to the Philippines, hasn’t gotten over how dispensable she, with her work skills, was. As soon as she was no longer considered an asset to the Danish family she was au pairing for, she was given her month’s pay, and not a cent more, then it was farvel og tak, goodbye and thanks!
Courage against exploitation

Filipinos are regularly covered in Danish media, with stories often about the abuse or exploitation of an au pair. With their hourly pay of $1.25, which Danes consider slave wages, and reports of au pairs having to work up to 100 hours per week when the prescribed maximum is 30 hours — these are the stuff that media dish up and readers gobble up! On TV, we have seen so-called host families threatening au pairs on air because they have bravely come out and confronted their hosts about unpaid extra working hours, such as cleaning the homes of their hosts’ friends and associates, which is against the law. We’ve also read in the daily papers about the well-meaning wives of top business people, directors and CEOs in the so-called “whisky belt” north of Copenhagen (meaning the upper-crust Danes) who lend each other their au pairs so they have uniformed serving ladies during big business dinners. Without the protection of the Philippine government, the Danish government can actually deport the au pairs who bravely go public about their abuse and exploitation, although now they are given one month to find another host family. Failing that, the police will escort them to Kastrup airport. The brave au pairs have to fight on many fronts. As they face the wrath of their host families, they also risk being marginalized by their own kind. The Filipinos in Denmark generally look at au pairs as those who “disturb” the tranquil picture of Filipinos who have nice jobs and stable marriages, and who don’t want to be in the public eye. After yet another story of an abused au pair hit the headlines, one established Filipina commented, “Now, we all risk being seen as imported unskilled labor,” (meaning au pairs, or worse, as mail order brides.)
New Possibilities

The realities of the Danish labor market provide an opportunity to change both the image of Filipinos in Denmark, and of the au pair system.

Denmark’s labor market is screaming for more bodies in the workforce, so why not integrate into the market these intelligent, hard-working and, in many cases, very highly educated young men and women, who just need an investment in language and a few other qualifying courses?

When their visas expire, many Filipino au pairs move from Denmark to another country, such as Norway, where the au pair allowance is higher and the stay is up to two years.

More and more young parents in Denmark recognize that they need a helping hand with the household chores if they are to combine family life and career. In order to accommodate their needs and the young Filipino au pair’s needs as well, perhaps it’s time to revise the old “young girl in the house” model (a kind of domestic help of a lighter variety but with a proper pay for the hours worked). In which case, the payment of 6.50 kroner (equivalent to $1.25 an hour, when the market rate is 100 kroner or $20 an hour) has to be changed, as it is a black mark on Denmark’s and Europe’s reputation, because they are being looked at as a country and a continent that profits from exploiting young men and women from developing countries.

Filipino au pairs are now definitely part of the suburban landscape of Denmark. On the street where I live, there are three of them. I just said goodbye to Ramos, also from Tagbilaran, whose 18-month stay couldn’t be extended, to the disappointment of his host family who were very pleased with him. On his last day, he gave them a treat by cooking lumpia. When I asked him about his plans, Ramos said he was definitely going back to school to finish his nursing degree. His girlfriend, Flores, also an au pair, is finishing her term in a few months. Her older sister has successfully transitioned to a job with an international nonprofit in the Danish capital. Other au pairs have set their sights on further education and some have been successful in getting jobs in their real professions, as nurses, accountants, and information technology, among others.

Note: This article is reposted with permission by the author can be foun on her website First published in Filipinas Magazine in April 2008. & in ABAKADA (Ang Balitang Kababaihan ng Denmark) Summer 2008 issue). Filomenita Mongaya Høgsholm is the founding Chair of Babaylan Denmark and is an Executive Board member of Babaylan Europe. She is also Board member of KULU, Women and Development Denmark.

Did you like this? Share it:


  1. hei, i am a filipina here in norway who is active with au pair issues here. I find your site very informative and i am hoping we could have something like this here in Norway.

    Oblivious to many, we have now a serious problem with filipino au pair migration here. Ja, from Denmark they move to Norway and ‘settle’ here for good… illegaly though. And in order to survive without valid permits they resort to black work and prostitution. Not only those without permits, but also those au pairs desperate to alleviate their meager ‘lommepenger’ and pay off debts used in financing escort fees and finder’s fees.

    I agree, i myself can say the same… ‘now we all risk as being seen as prostitutes too…’

  2. Thanks Alia. As a Filipino we really have to tackle this worsening issue and help our kababayans sincerely.
    You are welcome to share news and stories so the would be applicants will be aware of what’s awaits them there.
    Its too bad what’s is happening but the Danish or the Norwegian or other European host families are not solely to be blamed but the applicants who should research what they kind of job they are applying not relying just on the agencies or their agent but they have to do the research themselves.

  3. Pingback: On equal terms? An evaluation of the aupair Norwegian Scheme. | Filipina Au Pair Network

  4. how do become an aupair,what is the clasification to be an aupair

  5. hi.. i know this accident happened a long time ago and when i saw your page i got interested to read it because i was the girl who was there to meet her that time.. and sorry to say but most of your story is not what happened that night. but it was nice of you to make this site .

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.

Close It